Category Archives: One-Nighters

Taboo to you?


What do you consider to be taboo?

When you think about this question, let’s take religion out of the equation all together.  We all know that just about anything that is truly enjoyable in life is taboo from a religious perspective.  This is doubly true if you are Catholic or Orthodox Jew.

Let’s look more at how we live our lives and the places we live.  The cultures that we are part of and the people that we associate with.  Your family influence and the influences of your friends and acquaintances.

First, there are things that go beyond taboo.  Child porn, snuff films, rape (I will not count ‘Rape Fantasy Role-play’), things like that are just wrong on too many levels to even really begin talking about.  If you are into any of those, not only do I now want to hear about it, I would like it if you deleted the link to my site and never show up again and as an added bonus, find the nearest police station and turn yourself in.

With the exception of the stuff that seriously harms others, I am a very sexually open person.  I will discuss these topics openly to anyone and will rarely tell a person that they are out of line or being disgusting or immoral.

I see sex and sexuality to be the ultimate equalizer.  It is something that we all have in common.  We are, as humans, sexual creatures. It is what we do, how we procreate, many times a form of entertainment, something that strips you down to your bare self.  When you lie in bed next to someone, whether you are in a hetrosexual, homosexual, whatever relationship, you are exposed.  What you are is wide open and vulnerable to the person next to you.

So why is it that culture takes this point in our lives, a point when we have the most to lose, baring ourselves for others to see, and tells us that unless this is done within wedlock, it is a sin?   Something that should be shameful?  Something to repent for? Why is it that if you truly love or have a physical need to share yourself with another, even if it is someone of your same sex or with multiple partners at the same time, as long as you are doing so willingly and no one is being forced into anything, to many it is still considered a taboo?

Whether it is a one-night-stand or a committed relationship, you are still opening yourself up to another person, there is a sharing process that both, or all participants, are committed to, even for that one night.   How can it truly be a sin or taboo, unless you are ONLY basing that label on the religious point of view.

I would challenge that it is not.  Sharing of ones self is and can be an incredible and beautiful thing.  The ultimate in sharing is to give ones self over entirely to another, and as long as that is not abused by either of the parties, it cannot be taboo.

These are just my opinions, nothing more.



Bar Etiquette


I spend my fair share of time in bars and I see a lot of interesting things.  Bars are incredible places, because you can see a fascinating crosssection of humanity there.

Now, just to be sure we understand, I do not go to bars only for the intent of finding someone to take home with me that night, or to a hotel, if they do not strike me as the kind of person that I want to know where I live.  Though I have done my fair share of that.  That being said, I do consider myself a bit of a bar connoisseur, and am rather picky about the type of place I find myself in.

I like a bar that caters to the working-class person and the white-collar class equally.  A place where you can see an oilfield worker, businessman and a student at the bar, talking about nothing in general or everything in specific, but there is no sign that their respective class is preventing them from getting along.

Add to the above, a good mix of regular women that also like to hang out, drink and maybe play some bar-games.  Throw in a little casual flirting and you have yourself a grade-A bar.  The women do not even have to be great looking, just have a fun personality and be easy to talk to and get along with.  In spite of what you may think about me, I am not always going into a bar to get action.  Sometimes spending the evening with a group of guys and gals, talking about politics and the economy, can be fun.  If one of the women happens to give me eyes now and again, then that is even better.  It does not even have to lead to anything.

There is a certain amount of flirting that I think is expected in bars.  So guys, be on notice, if you take your date, or even your wife, to a bar… expect her to be flirted with and whether you like to admit it or not, or believe it or not, when you are not paying attention, she is probably flirting back.  It’s the nature of the game and of bar politics.  Don’t fight the flirting, just let it happen.  You should only get concerned if the person flirting with your gal comes over and makes a move, and then you should only be REALLY concerned if your gal gets up and takes him up on the offer.

Also… if that happens, it does not mean anything other than maybe YOU are doing something wrong.  If you are treating her with the respect and attention that they are worth, they will not abandon you.  So if it happens, you better start looking for the problem by finding the nearest mirror.

Men… when you are in a bar and you start flirting with a woman, and it looks like she is taking your bait, don’t pull that cutesy bullshit of coyly flirting.  If she is responding, it’s like fishing.  The hook is set, now start reeling her in, but be causual and cool about it.  Like with fishing, if you try too hard, you might lose her.  If you look too desparate, she may pull away.  Even if you have not “gotten any” for the last year, don’t telegraph that to her through your actions or moves.

Another thing I have learned…  Stay away from the young ones.  By young I mean the ones that look like they are in the 21 to 25 year range.  These ones always seem to be looking for something that they are not finding.  They are hot, they can be sexy and have a lot of energy, but they seem easily distracted.  I always shoot for the 30+ year olds, and yes… if they are married, even better.  If they are happily married and looking  for some fun, that is the best.  No commitment beyond showing them a great time for that night.

Whatever you do, though, try not to create any ill feelings for bad vibes in the bars that you frequent.  It is OK of you have a little reputation as a guy who likes the women and treats them good, but if you start building the WRONG type of reputation, you will not see any action.  In some cases, as I have seen in one of the places I still frequent, the bartender may even get involved and ask you to just stop showing up.

But understand, above all, that not every woman that is going into a bar is looking for action.  Like us guys, they sometimes just want to go someplace and get a drink and maybe little conversation.  If you pick up on that, talk to her, share stories, but let her do control the direction of the situation.  Women are people too and sometimes need a place to go and just unload.  Respect that and you may win the respect of other women in the place.

Good Hunting.

Women are an odd sort…

There are those of you that will read the title of this and tell me, “Yeah, what’s your point.”

No point, really…  it’s an observation.

I enjoy women, I really do.  I love their company, there personalities, their tempers and their love.  There is even something enjoyable about women when they are angry or frustrated with you, you see something real and visceral in them for that moment that can be, to men like me, a turn on.

There is nothing more pleasurable than waking up in the morning to the feel of a woman’s soft touch next to you.  To be pressed up to someone that you shared the night with, whether you have known them all your life or just for the night.  And if you are lucky, the experience of her waking you up to a little morning love-making.  Depending on what you ate or drank the night before, you may want to avoid the kissing, though.

My point of this is to say that while I have all these feelings for the women I have encountered in my time, I have always been a little perplexed by them and the way they approach someone like me, an admitted “Gentle” womanizer.

On one hand, they will condemn my sort, calling us names and pointing out that we will use women for our own pleasure, with no effort of commitment to them of their kind.  But the same women, in the right settings, if I apply the right amount of tactics, finesse, and charisma, will still, quite often, find herself in my bed, or at the very least spending a few minutes with my using my tongue to check hers out.

Yes… I am a misogynist.  But I think that the world needs a few of them around.  Because if they did not, then I would not keep finding these women that seem to be interested in meeting one.

You people out there, if you have something to say about it, chime in… my door is open.