Monthly Archives: December 2014

Sex and the period… Just a thought.

This is not a full post, I am just thinking aloud with this one.

I would like to see how many men out there (or women, for the lesbian readers I might have) have an issue with menstrual sex.

I have no problem with it as long as SHE is ok with it.  I mean there are certain acts I will not perform, mainly the dining experience, but most of the rest I have no issue with.

I have met some women that are seriously against it, and others that seem to be more aroused and active when they are on their period.

So just a thought and a request for comments from anyone out there that might have input.

Dressing the part


Is it just me, or have men lost touch with the idea that women still like a well dressed man?

So I am sitting in a nice lounge on Marion Street, enjoying a couple drinks when I see a group of guys walk in.  I have been at this long enough to know when the wolves are on the hunt, and they were hunting.  But two of them looked like they had just left a gym and forgot to change and the other two looked like they were wearing their pants “sagging” and they were white.  It looks silly enough on non-whites, and it looks absolutely ridiculous on these guys.

So as the night wears on, they make their plays on a few women, and to their credit, they appeared to be polite enough, but they were rejected. Eventually they left, maybe in search of a more “hip-hop” style of pub where they would not look so foolish.

The point of this particular rant, however, is to point out that, for the most part I find that women still like a man that knows how to dress.  I am not saying show up to the bar in a tuxedo, or you will still be a stand-out, and not in the good way, more like the Dumb and Dumber way… unless there is a function at said pub that requires the tux.  I mean just dress nice for the place you are going.  If you are going to a country and western theme bar, wear nice jeans, a good shirt and tennis shoes or boots.  If you are going to the kind of places that I like, wear a dress shirt, no tie, slacks and nice shoes, comfortable ones in case dancing breaks out and you need to hit the floor.

Just think about it before you go.  Look the part, look like you want to be there and you belong there.  If you dress good, smell good and present yourself the right way, you can own the place and own the moment if you find yourself with the right, and receptive, woman.

After I wrote the above, I started thinking that some of what I just said could also apply to those of you reading that might frequent the gay bars, but not being a regular at any of them (I have been to a gay bar twice for friend’s parties in the last fifteen years), I could not tell you for sure if the same rules apply as for my kind of places.  If you happen to be a member of the LGBT community and reading this, you are more than welcome to chime in and offer your input.

But for the final thought, guys… keep us looking good for the ladies out there.  They will appreciate it and as an observer, so will I.


Bar Etiquette


I spend my fair share of time in bars and I see a lot of interesting things.  Bars are incredible places, because you can see a fascinating crosssection of humanity there.

Now, just to be sure we understand, I do not go to bars only for the intent of finding someone to take home with me that night, or to a hotel, if they do not strike me as the kind of person that I want to know where I live.  Though I have done my fair share of that.  That being said, I do consider myself a bit of a bar connoisseur, and am rather picky about the type of place I find myself in.

I like a bar that caters to the working-class person and the white-collar class equally.  A place where you can see an oilfield worker, businessman and a student at the bar, talking about nothing in general or everything in specific, but there is no sign that their respective class is preventing them from getting along.

Add to the above, a good mix of regular women that also like to hang out, drink and maybe play some bar-games.  Throw in a little casual flirting and you have yourself a grade-A bar.  The women do not even have to be great looking, just have a fun personality and be easy to talk to and get along with.  In spite of what you may think about me, I am not always going into a bar to get action.  Sometimes spending the evening with a group of guys and gals, talking about politics and the economy, can be fun.  If one of the women happens to give me eyes now and again, then that is even better.  It does not even have to lead to anything.

There is a certain amount of flirting that I think is expected in bars.  So guys, be on notice, if you take your date, or even your wife, to a bar… expect her to be flirted with and whether you like to admit it or not, or believe it or not, when you are not paying attention, she is probably flirting back.  It’s the nature of the game and of bar politics.  Don’t fight the flirting, just let it happen.  You should only get concerned if the person flirting with your gal comes over and makes a move, and then you should only be REALLY concerned if your gal gets up and takes him up on the offer.

Also… if that happens, it does not mean anything other than maybe YOU are doing something wrong.  If you are treating her with the respect and attention that they are worth, they will not abandon you.  So if it happens, you better start looking for the problem by finding the nearest mirror.

Men… when you are in a bar and you start flirting with a woman, and it looks like she is taking your bait, don’t pull that cutesy bullshit of coyly flirting.  If she is responding, it’s like fishing.  The hook is set, now start reeling her in, but be causual and cool about it.  Like with fishing, if you try too hard, you might lose her.  If you look too desparate, she may pull away.  Even if you have not “gotten any” for the last year, don’t telegraph that to her through your actions or moves.

Another thing I have learned…  Stay away from the young ones.  By young I mean the ones that look like they are in the 21 to 25 year range.  These ones always seem to be looking for something that they are not finding.  They are hot, they can be sexy and have a lot of energy, but they seem easily distracted.  I always shoot for the 30+ year olds, and yes… if they are married, even better.  If they are happily married and looking  for some fun, that is the best.  No commitment beyond showing them a great time for that night.

Whatever you do, though, try not to create any ill feelings for bad vibes in the bars that you frequent.  It is OK of you have a little reputation as a guy who likes the women and treats them good, but if you start building the WRONG type of reputation, you will not see any action.  In some cases, as I have seen in one of the places I still frequent, the bartender may even get involved and ask you to just stop showing up.

But understand, above all, that not every woman that is going into a bar is looking for action.  Like us guys, they sometimes just want to go someplace and get a drink and maybe little conversation.  If you pick up on that, talk to her, share stories, but let her do control the direction of the situation.  Women are people too and sometimes need a place to go and just unload.  Respect that and you may win the respect of other women in the place.

Good Hunting.


I was asked in an email about my opinions of homosexuality, so I thought that this would be a good topic for a post.

It’s Fine…   Seriously.

Am I gay?  Certainly not, no way.  I am one of those guys that cringes when I see two guys kissing.  When surfing the web, on my occasional search for interesting porn that does not bore me to tears, when I have accidentally stumbled into a site that has gay porn, I cannot find the “X” to close the window, or the Back button fast enough.  But that is just me and my own issues with it… I cannot see guy on guy action as interesting… woman on woman is different, so I suppose that makes me a bit of a hypocrite.

But moving on.

It reality, I cannot understand the lifestyle, I cannot see what would cause a man to like another man in any “love interest” sort of way.  I mean yeah, I loved a few men in my life.  My father, my brother, a couple buddies that were like brothers to me.  But not in the “Other” sense. But why should I have to understand it?

Love is love… when two people love one another, who cares what sex they are.  I have loved a few women in my life, really loved them and then just loved their bodies.  But just because I cannot grasp the meaning of gay/homosexual/transgendered love, does not make it any less real , does it?  And if you bring religion into it, I have a really hard time believing that God is so caught up in peoples sex lives that he or she would fail to look at the good that they have accomplished in their NON-sexual lives.

I think that people should be the same.  If some guy or gal, who happens to be a doctor and invents a cure that saves hundreds or thousands of lives, happens to be gay, and they inevitably meet their maker, I cannot and will not believe that God, or whatever gods may be, would turn them away on the fact that they are not heterosexual.

It is my sincerest hope that if any of you reading this happen to be of the LGBT society, you have taken no offense to what I have written.  It was not meant in that way.  While you will not see me in any parades, I do feel for your plight.  Maybe one day people will stop and think.